


have a saiouma

by chikkampli



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Online Friendship, Online Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-06-24 09:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19720918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chikkampli/pseuds/chikkampli
Summary: Shuichi and Kokichi start texting and life unfolds i guess (they start dating too after a bit because this is a fanfiction)





	1. they meet oWo

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, uhm, this is my first Dangan Ronpa fanfiction, and I'm sorry if they're OOC (Out Of Character), I hope you guys like it and all! owo

*buzz  
  
buzz*  
  
Shuichi's attention, which was previously on his homework, quickly darted to his phone, its faint light illuminating in the dim (almost dark) lighting. He picked it up and checked the notification.  


  
_1 new message request from_ **__.evil.supreme.leader_ ** ._

 _'A message request?'_  
  
Shuichi slightly furrowed his eyebrows at the thought. Who would message him? Why would someone message him? I mean, yes, he did post rants about things he believed should be fixed in the world, but he'd usually get comments supporting or negating his opinion. It didn't really matter anyway, it was his opinion and nobody could change it. Unless they had a good reason to believe the opposite, good enough for him to switch. Either way, he believed the world should have equality, peace, and happiness. Most of his posts were rants about why those things should happen, or he was disagreeing with a certain topic that should be pointed out. The rest were little blogs and bits of his life he shared on his account.  
  
He opened the request and put on a neutral face. Once he read the message it was...agreeing with him? Yeah, it was.  
  
**__.evil.supreme.leader.__** _: *post about how men and women should be equal*_  
  
**__.evil.supreme.leader.__** _: Oh my god, I just wanted to say this post is absolute GARBAGE...or am i lying? Nishishi~! But in all honesty, this post is very insightful, we need this type of awareness now and days...or not. Just kidding!_  
  
His previous facial expression quickly turned into a very puzzled expression. It took the teen a few moments to register the fact that this stranger was agreeing with him. Which was a relief. Shuichi did not want to deal with hate at this particular moment.  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: Oh, thanks! I never expected a direct message...but nevertheless, I'm thankful._  
  
The person who messaged him started typing immediately and responded with:  
  
**__.evil.supreme.leader.__** _: Oooooo... Well, I am the Ultimate Supreme Leader of Evil™ after all so...you should be! Or my organisation will track you down and kill you...or not. I'm lying again! I do not condone murder._  
  
This person was...childish. Intriguing indeed. Feeling curious, he responded. He thought that this conversation might be interesting.  
  
**__sigh.ara__** : _What is this 'organisation' you run?_  
  
**__.evil.supreme.leader.__** : _It's a secret, because it's a *secret* organisation. My organisation has over 10,000 members! We can and will track you down if you do anything fishy and kill you, Nishishi~!_  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: I thought you said that you don't condone murder?_  
  
**__.evil.supreme.leader.__** _: Oops, i lied again, you got me_!  
  
Shuichi chuckled.  
  
_'They are really something else, aren't they?'_  
  
He found this stranger entertaining, to say the least. He could tell they were going to be hard to figure out, but worth while when he did figure them out.  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: you must lie a lot, don't you?_  
  
**__.evil.supreme.leader.__** _: No! Absolutely not! I hate liars, i hate them so much that I even lie to myself! Isn't that horrible?_  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: But you lied to me at least three times in five minutes...?_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: Wow...you're interesting Mr. Detective,,,hey, how do you like my new username_?  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: you're too slow >:(_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: hurry uP_  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: I can't respond immediately_ ,  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: And your username is swell, and how do you know I'm a detective??? And besides, I'm only an apprentice._  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: It's in your bio, stupidhead, I'm not a stalker lol_  
  
Shuich cursed under his breath. Of course they knew that, if they saw his post, there's the likelihood of them seeing his bio.  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: Oh, right, that was stupid of me haha_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: Your full name's also there too, Shuichi Saihara, My name's Kokichi Oma, if you care >:)_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: You should really hide your personal information, Shuichi!_  
  
_'That was...surprising...to say the least.'_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _:_ _also, @_sigh.ara_ is reallyyyy clever, dontcha think?_  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: ...you're quite the perceptive one, aren't you?_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: Me? Perceptive? You're the detective, aren't you supposed to be the perceptive one? Hm hm??_  
  
**__sigh.ara__** _: Apprentice. I'm only an apprentice_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: Same thing_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: Heyyyy, aren't you that one guy who solved that murder case? You should be more than an apprentice...just kidding! Or am i? Nishishi~_  
  
_'Urgh, my brain's starting to melt. They're frying my brain but...in a good way? Weird.'_  
  
**__sigh.hara__** _: ...either way, I'm just an apprentice_  
  
**__panta.forever__** _: Ehhhh, you're still a detective in my eyes, you should be more than an apprentice_  
  
**__panta.forever__** : Anyway, I gotta go, later Shuichi!!!  
  
  
  
Kokichi set down his phone after his mom called him for dinner, she was very strict on her rules. One of those rules were 'No phones at the table!', which Kokichi obeyed most of the time. Everytime he didn't he'd get his hand slapped, so he refrained from it. Most of the time.

He checked his phone to see if he got a response.  
  


_1 new message from **_sigh.hara_**_   
  
****

**__sigh.ara__** _: Oh, see you later too,_  
  
He smirked, "Oh? I guess he's interested in me..."  
  
Kokichi quietly set down his phone and went to go eat dinner.  
  
  
  
  
  
After he finished, he thanked his parents and hurried off to his room. The first thing he did, like the stereotypical teenager, was check his phone.

_(1) Amami_

**_Amami_** : _Sleepover on Saturday?_  
  
_'Obviously, you goon.'_  
  
**_Me_** _: You betcha, you overgrown tree ;)_  
  
**_Amami_** _: lol, you're just jealous that you can't reach the bottom shelf you shrub~_  
  
**_Me_** _: I will headbutt you in the kneecaps and steal them._  
  
**_Me_** _: I'd watch my elongated legs if I were you, you overgrown tree._  
  
**_Amami_** _: oh no, im so scared_  
  
**_Amami_** _: i just pissed myself thinking about the scariness of a shrub_  
  
**_Amami_** _: aaaaaaaaaaaaa *screams*_  
  
**_Me_** _: Yeah, you better be._  
  
**_Me_** _: Anyway, why'd ya decide to text lil' ol' me?_  
  
  
  
Both boys stayed up until dawn, finding immense comfort in each other. They were best friends after all, best friends since childhood. Rantaro was always there for Kokichi and Kokichi was always there for him in return.  
  
Rantaro was more of the parent friend, even though he's a pretty laid-back guy, he'd do anything to protect and take care of his "children", more specifically his friends. Kokichi on the other hand...was the child. Everybody loved him dearly, but with his pranks and attitude and sass...it can be a lot sometimes, but he's always there when he needs to be.  
  
  
  
Kokichi woke up, surprisingly, ten minutes before his alarm. Don't get me wrong, he was still extremely fatigued after talking to Rantaro until 3 AM, but his brain just decided to start early.  
  
He groaned, "It's no use anyway. If I fell back asleep I'd be late...again," he mumbled to himself as he clumsily got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, and looked at himself in the mirror.  
  
_'Ew, these eyebags are really unattractive. I need to sleep more. Like that would EVER happen.'_  
  
He chuckled to himself as he grabbed his mom's make-up from the medicine cabinet. He only stole the concealer and stuff like that, he needed to be at least decently presentable. He did his hygiene stuff and normal face routine (which only consisted of soap, water, a moisturizer, concealer, this make-up powder, and a setting spray if he had time), and popped in his contact lenses. He's very sensitive about his heterochromia, so he wears purple ones, since it matches his face more and it's one of his eye colors. He then exited the bathroom to clothe himself.  
  
Which took approximately 20 minutes. He really cares about his appearance.  
  
"Hmmmmm, this seems good enough," he hummed ad he sized himself up in his full-body mirror. He picked out something casual. A checkered plum-colored shirt and black skinny jeans with white Adidas. He practiced a few facial expressions, which was just a warm-up for all the various ones he will inevitably use today, always, and everyday.  
  
_'Perfect.'_  
  
Grabbing his phone and shoving all this papers, books, and binder(s) in his book bag, he was off to the kitchen. Both of his parents had work early in the morning so he had free-range of what he wanted for breakfast.  
  
He chose three king-sized bars of Hershey's chocolate and Panta.  
  
Once he was satisfied, he grabbed another chocolate bar to eat for later; which may or may not be during class, and texted Rantaro.  
  
**_Me_** _: You ready?_  
  
It didn't take long for him to respond.  
  
**_Amami_** _: I'm literally outside your door, of course I'm ready lol_  
  
**_Me_** _: You know you could just use the spare key my mom gave you and walk in_  
  
**_Me_** _: You're like, her other son, but more attractive and taller than moi_  
  
**_Me_** : im honestly offended, do you not love us anymore????  
  
"Maybe, maybe not."  
  
Kokichi immediately spun around, with his eyes shut tightly, and punched the person who had said that. Once he opened his eyes, he saw Rantaro.  
  
"Wow...heh," he groaned, "You certainly know how to pack a punch, Kokichi."  
  
"Rancharo! Don't scare me like that, you're lucky I didn't kick you in the balls, you meanie," Kokichi pouted, debating on whether or not he should use his crocodile tears right now.  
  
Rantaro raised himself off from the floor, "Well you were the one who told me I could just come in."  
  
"At least give me a warning..." Kokichi sniffed, Rantaro just rolled his eyes.  
  
"They don't work on me, Oma. Now, are you ready?"  
  
"No, but yes since I basically have no choice but to go. Now follow me, you peasant!" He marched away and exited his house, Rantaro following behind him.  
  
  
  
"Kaede..." Shuichi waved his hand in front of her face.  
  
"Kaede."  
  
Still no response.  
  
He inhaled, "Kaede... The piano sucks!"  
  
She suddenly got all defensive, "No it doesn't! The piano can bring joy, peace, and serenity in people's lives!"  
  
There she is.  
  
He smiled sheepishly and averted his attention in the other direction, "I'm sorry, but I had to get your attention somehow." Shuichi tugged on his cap a bit, causing it to hide his eyes even more.  
  
She pouted, "You didn't need to get it like that..."  
  
"I mean nothing else was working so..."  
  
"..." Her face relaxed, "Ah, okay! I catch your drift." She smiled kindly.  
  
What a great best friend he has most definitely.  
  
"So, why'd you need my attention?"  
  
"Oh," Shuichi straightened his posture, "I was wondering how we were going to split up our PowerPoint for Mr. Naegi's class..."  
  
"Oh yes," she scooted back, "about that, I was planning-"  
  
"Please return to your assigned seats, class will begin shortly," the teacher announced in a strong, powerful voice.  
  
Kaede turned to him, "I'll tell you later, 'kay?"  
  
Shuichi nodded and left to sit down. It was unfortunate that they sat on different sides of the room, but that's how the world works.  
  
  
  
  
  
After class, they both met up to talk about it. They both were going to do an equal amount of slides on the lessons they excelled at the most. Lovely duo.  
  
After they split to go to their next, seperate classes, Shuichi felt a vibration in his pocket.

  
_1 new message from_ **__panta.forever__ **


	2. this friendship is evolving lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi messages Shuichi and Shuichi answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I kinda made Kokichi out of character a bit but i don't know how to change that---

_1 new message from **_panta.forever_**_

_**_panta.forever_** : hi_

**__sigh.ara__ ** _: Hey, uh, I can't really talk right now I'm at school_

 **__panta.forever__ ** _: Same here, what's holding you back?_

 **__panta.forever__ ** _: I'm even eating chocolate lol, she's not even noticing---_

Shuichi pursed his lips. _'Should I respond?'_

Shuichi was never really the type to break the rules often, and whenever he did it was by accident, but texting seemed so _tempting._ He decided to list out all the pros and cons inside his head. The pros were:

1\. He wouldn't be bored.

2\. He wouldn't miss out on anything because he already knew everything that the teacher was teaching.

And 3. He hates math (he still excels at it though).

The cons were:

1\. He'd get in trouble with the teacher.

2\. He'd get in trouble with his Uncle.

3\. He'd get his phone confiscated.

And 4. People knew he _would not_ break the rules, and he'd probably be gossiped about for a day. Seriously, this whole school will find literally _anything_ to gossip about. Like, literally, using your phone isn't really a big deal.

So, naturally, he responded with:

_**_sigh.ara_** : I don't know...It's just that it's not allowed, I guess._

**__panta.forever__ ** _: And that's it?_

_**_panta.forever_** : Man, you need to live your life, Mr. Detective,,,,,,,,,and im sure you're smart enough NOT to get caught y'know _

_**_panta.forever_** : isn't school boring? _

_'Well, yes, but... No, I shouldn't be falling for this. Shuichi, you're a smart one, why are you being persuaded by some random person on the internet?'_

_**_sigh.ara_** : I really can't talk right now _

_**_panta.forever_** : But you've been doing it for the past five minutes, haven't you? _

_**_panta.forever_** : you're over here preaching about how using your phone or whatever isn't allowed but you're still doing it _

_**_panta.forever_** : Shuichi, you're kind of a hypocrite,,,, _

_**_panta.forever_** : I'm right and you know it~ _

He got you there.

_'Damn, he has a point.'_

Shuichi frowned. Since when did this stranger know how to get _*that*_ under his skin? He is not a hyprocrite and they aren't right, and judging by the name 'Kokichi' he assumed that Kokichi was a male. And he is so it really isn't a problem for Kokichi. Anyway, this is off topic.

Whatever. He didn't care anymore, he hated this class and life itself. What did he have to lose?

_**_sigh.ara_** : ...okay_

_**_panta.forever_** : Are you agreeing with lil' ol' me?_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Sure_

_**_panta.forever_** : [1 image attachment]_

_**_panta.forever_** : om nom_

The picture that he sent was of him, Shuichi assumed. It displayed a young-looking male, probably in his early to mid-teen years; like Shuichi himself, with unkempt, ink black hair and faint, royal purple dyed tips. The boy was looking down, smirking a little as he had half a chocolate bar hanging from his mouth. If he even opened his mouth just one centimeter, it most likely would've fallen out. It didn't look that supported. At the bottom of the screen, there was a caption that said 'bad boyz club'.

If Shuichi wasn't questioning his life decisions, he was now.

_'What.'_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Is...is that you?_

_**_panta.forever_** : yuppers, you got a problem?_

_**_panta.forever_** : omg ew_

_**_panta.forever_** : are you some random pervert who gets off at young males like me?_

_**_panta.forever_** : You're really nasty, Shuichi, get some better hobbies and find yourself a girlfriend :|_

_'Did he really just assume I was a pervert??? From four words??? He has got to be toying with me right now.'_

And indeed he was.

_**_sigh.ara_** : You're just trying to mess with me, aren't you?_

_**_panta.forever_** : I would never! I'm just trying to protect myself...or not. >:}_

_**_panta.forever_** : But...I want you to prove to ~moi~ that you aren't some random, perverted 30-something year-old man trying to abuse me :D_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Your use of emoticons kind of alarm me_

_**_sigh.ara_** : But sure, what am I supposed to do?_

Kokichi smirked. Man, some people were just too easy to control. Like, come on, this detective could be at least a _bit_ more wary but...eh. He *is* an apprentice after all.

_**_sigh.ara_** : But sure, what am I supposed to do?_

_**_panta.forever_** : Send a picture of yourself_

_**_panta.forever_** : I already sent one of ~moi~ but I just wanna know if you're actually gonna be 30-something year-old man who wants my body_

_**_panta.forever_** : </3_

_**_panta.forever_** : It's a broken heart cuz life sucks_

_**_panta.forever_** : [1 image attachment]_

Kokichi had sent another picture of himself. This time, he was pouting. He placed his finger in the direction a teardrop would most likely fall and captioned the picture with:

_please?_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Fine...but don't call me emo_

_**_sigh.ara_** : I've had enough of that already and now it just annoys the hell out of me_

_**_panta.forever_** : I, Kokichi Oma, will promise you, Shuichi Saihara, also known as Mr. Detective, that I, Kokichi Oma, The Ultimate Supreme Leader of Evil™, will not say that you, Shuichi Saihara, also known as Mr. Detective, are emo_

_**_panta.forever_** : *salutes you*_

_'He actually fell for that? I was just curious on what his face looks like...and we'll see if I decide if you're worthy of the emo title!'_

_**_sigh.ara_** : [1 image attachment]_

Kokichi opened it to see a very fatigued looking boy. Around his age, he's guessing. He was looking down at the camera, almost expressionless. The only facial expression he showed was just a mini baby pout. He had long ~~and pretty~~ eyelashes with ~~beautiful~~ golden eyes; the eyebags kind of taking away from ~~the beauty~~ their full potential. His hair was leather black with a hint of midnight blue to it. Was it dyed? Probably, or his hair was just so black that it had a blue tint to it, but his hat was sort of blocking out his face. Was he insecure about his face? What would _he_ be insecure about?

Overall, Shuichi was a good-looking guy. He didn't look bad, he was just a little above average, if you took away the eyebags he'd look better than he does already. Besides, he seemed like a person who would entertain Kokichi and never make him bored. Which is exactly what Kokichi wanted in a person.

_**_panta.forever_** : :O_

_**_panta.forever_** : No wonder people call you emo!!!!!_

_**_panta.forever_** : But it's okay, you're actually pretty good-looking_

_**_panta.forever_** : So feel better_

_**_panta.forever_** : Just kidding! You look disgusting...or not. Nishishi~!_

_**_sigh.ara_** : ...I'm taking that as a compliment_

_**_panta.forever_** : You better_

_**_sigh.ara_** _ _: Okay?_

_**_panta.forever_** : Okay_

_**_panta.forever_** : Also, Mr. Detective, I only wanted your picture to see what you looked like :D_

_**_panta.forever_** : That sounded creepy, Im not a creep like you, scavenging for young, innocent boys >:(_

_**_sigh.ara_** : I'm surprised _

_**_sigh.ara_** : Over this very short amount of time, I've gotten used to your lies and teasing _

_**_sigh.ara_** : But that doesn't mean I understand you _

_**_panta.forever_** : Awwwwwww Shuichi im flattered uwu _

_**_panta.forever_** : :}_

_**_sigh.ara_** : So, how was your day?_

And that was basically the gist of Shuichi and Kokichi's conversations. Kokichi would be Kokichi and Shuichi would be Shuichi. No flirting, no romantic gestures, just dudes being dudes and bros being bros.

_**_panta.forever_** : Would you marry me if you could?_

Yep.

_**_sigh.ara_** : Uhm, no,_

_**_panta.forever_** : Well that's rude >:(._

_**_panta.forever_** : But it's whatever_

_**_panta.forever_** : Fukc, Imma be back I don't know if she caught me but she's heading my way---_

_**_panta.forever_** : Later Shuichi :D_

Kokichi quickly, and quietly shoved his phone into his desk, making it look like he was just playing with the inside mindlessly.

"...So, with that being said, there _will_ be a quiz on this topic tomorrow, so I advise all of you to study tonight. You may use the rest of class-time to read, study, or _quietly_ speak to your neighbour. Do you understand?" The teacher instructed. 

The class mumbles a soft 'yes ma'am' and continued on with their lives, but she (the teacher) was not having it.

 _"Do I make myself clear?"_ She boomed, seriously, it was like she hated her job. The stares she gave to all her students was enough to make the most defiant of students submit to her every command. It was scary to be honest. Like real scary.

"Yes ma'am." This time the students were at LEAST 15 decibels louder than before. But that was an exaggeration. It was audibly louder than before though. She stepped down from her imaginary pedestal and said "alright then" in a more softer tone, and walked away to her desk. 

Once Kokichi knew she was distracted and most likely wouldn't call him out, he pulled out his phone.

_'8:35? I've only been here for about an hour and a half and I'm already done with this hellhole...skipping next period might *not* be that bad of an idea... I'm skipping it.'_

Kokichi smirked that the thought and noticed he had a notification from Shuichi.

_1 new message from **_sigh.ara_**_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Okay_

__

_**_sigh.ara_** : Okay_

Shuichi felt kind of disappointed that Kokichi possibly got caught using his phone and possibly couldn't talk to him until school ended for him. The worst part is, he doesn't know when, and since time zones exist it might take a bit longer than expected...

_**_panta.forever_** : I'm alive don't worry_

_**_panta.forever_** : your lord and saviour has not been taken from his throne :}_

He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm sorry if it's bad idk---
> 
> this has been really fun so far :0.


	3. uhm this is the third chapter ( im uncreative sorRY)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More insight in their personal lives :D.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi uhm, i dunno what to say except hi
> 
> also my everyday grammar sucks i just know how to spell a lot of words, other than that i suck at grammar entirely

"Hey, it's my sidekick!" Kaito called as he slung his arm around Shuichi's slender shoulders.

"Ah, Kaito-!" Shuichi was abruptly shoved forward; since Kaito's gesture had enough force to do so, "That surprised me..."

Maki walked over to the two boys and sat at their usual lunch table, observing the sight. "It's Kaito, what do you expect?" She kept her usual emotionless demeanor and turned around.

"Heyyy," Kaito whined, "Don't be so mean, Maki-roll!"

"Do you want to die?" She threatened, her red eyes seemingly started to glow as she glared straight into his soul.

He awkwardly chuckled, "Hey, Maki-roll, there's no need to be so intimidating... Oh, by the way, have you guys seen Kaede? She would have been here by now..."

"Oh, she had to help the music teacher with something," Shuichi answered, "Kaede told me that she might be a bit late to lunch, but she'll be here at some point."

"Ah," Kaito retracted his arm from Shuichi's shoulders and sat down, "Well, she could be here any minute now, so there's no need to worry!"

"We weren't worried in the first place, idiot," Maki insulted as she played with her fruit for a few seconds before popping a strawberry into her mouth. "Also, I won't be available for training today, so it's going to be just you and Shuichi."

"Huh? Why, Maki-roll?" he tilted his head.

"Because," she started, "I have to do extra work at the orphanage since some other kids decided to ditch their work yesterday, and I was one of the people who had to take over their work along with mine. It's stupid, really." There was an obvious saltiness in her tone.

Kaito clicked his tongue, "I, Kaito Momota, _Luminary of the Stars_ , wholeheartedly agree," he declared. "If they were the ones who were in charge of it in the first place, why aren't they gonna take responsibility for that?"

"That's just how it works," she sighed, "The staff doesn't care about us, and they don't care to discipline us. They just want to get their paychecks and go home."

Shuichi frowned, but refrained from saying anything. Frankly, he didn't even know what to say in the first place; he had never been in an orphanage. He wanted to empathize and sympathize with her, but Maki would most likely write it off as pity and get defensive and push him away. She did not like it when people pited her, she hated it. All her life she had seen the looks on people's faces once they found out why she was in an orphanage, and the fact that she is an orphan. The looks and the tones of their voices and their words...it was just _so_ annoying. Maki just wanted to be treated like a normal person, not like some charity case that people whined over. She was not, and won't ever be, a charity case.

"Aw man, that sucks," he then abruptly stood up and immediately perked up, "What if we delayed it?"

"Care to elaborate?" Shuichi glanced up at him.

"Well, it all depends on Maki's schedule today-" 

"Hey, guys, sorry I'm late!" Kaede quickly shuffled to the table and sat down. "What did I miss?"

Shuichi flinched a little, but then realized it was just Kaede, "Oh...nothing much," he hid his eyes even more beneath his cap. "Kaito was just trying to work training around Maki's schedule."

"Yeah!" Kaito sat back down beside Shuichi, "Since Maki has to do extra work today, I thought we could do it later than usual, y'know?"

Kaede nodded, "Well, I hope it works out for you guys."

"Thanks Kaede," Maki breathed, "It depends on how fast I get it done, and if it's good enough for the staff to let me go. And my curfew, 10 p.m."

Shuichi hummed, "I'll be available up until 7, so it can't be any later than that..."

"Ah! Well, Maki just needs to get done before 7 and we can all train together! See? Problem solved."

"Uhm, Kaito," Shuichi commented, "I don't think that's a sturdy plan..."

"Yeah, I mean, since Maki has to do extra work, it might take up more time than intended. Even if she did get it done by 7 o' clock, Shuichi might not be there for long, or even there at all," Kaede explained.

Mako nodded, "Even if I finished before 7, which is highly unlikely, Shuichi would still have to leave. I could come when I'm finished, but I can't guarantee it'll be for long, or if I'll even be there at all."

Kaito looked very dejected, "Oh...well, maybe cancelling will have to do." He then suddenly piped up, "So, how has you guys' day been?"

* * *

"And thus ends our love story. Himiko, whom Tenko cherished and loved, tragically killed her," Kokichi softly whispered, wiping a fake tear.

"Himiko would never do something like that to me!" Tenko protested, "It's not like a filthy degenerate like _you_ would understand, though." 

"Awwww, it's okay. We already know you're a useless lesbian, don't worry," he "comforted". Emphasis on the air quoTes.

Rantaro chuckled, "You'll only upset her more, Kokichi."

"Well, duh! That's my plan, stupidhead."

"Nyeh..." Himiko whined, "Guys, stop. I'm too tired for all of this." She then plopped her head her forearms, exhausted.

"See?! Look at what you did to Himiko! Apologize right now!" Tenko then turned to Himiko, "I'm sorry, Himiko."

She just nodded in response, signaling it was okay.

"Nope! Sorry not sorry~!" Kokichi popped another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

Tenko rolled her eyes and made a sound of displeasure, "I will use my Neo-Aikido on you! My master is the best out of all the masters, so don't cross me you filthy degenerate!" She then plopped down onto her seat, obviously beside Himiko. That lesbian.

"Ooooh~" he perked up, "Heyyyyyyy Kee-boy!"

Keebo turned his attention to the smaller male, who was waving, and sighed in displeasure. "...do I really have to deal with that today?"

"You betcha!"

"Where's Miu when I need her..." the robot sighed, and sat down by Tenko.

"Did somebody call Miu Iruma, The Gorgeous Girl Genius™!?"

Keebo turned around to see his human girlfriend, standing tall and prideful. He was overwhelimgly relieved, he wouldn't have to deal with Kokichi's antics alone.

* * *

"Miu! Thank goodness you're here!"

She enveloped him with a tender and sweet hug, she had a soft spot for people she was close with, like Keebo. "Was it Kokichi?" Miu shifted her attention to the purple-haired boy, "I'll fuckin' slap you, you little lying abortion! Go sit in the corner and play with yourself!"

"Okay!" Kokichi then pulled out a deck of cards, "Excuse me, but I have to go play Solitaire with myself in the corner." He bowed and moved to the edge of the table, setting up the game.

Miu rolled her eyes. Believe it or not, this group was actually quite close. You may think some of them are enemies and some of them are literal besties, but they all are literal besties. Heck, Kokichi even dated Rantaro for a bit, but they decided to stay friends. The insults are just part of the strong, loveable bond they (including Gonta, Angie, Kirumi, and Korekiyo but they're gone for _certain_ purposes [Atua purposes]. And those purposes were very important for something uwu. ) all share with each other. If any outsider decides to bad mouth any of them or mess with any them, the rest will literally have a homicide charge on their record-

"Where's mommmmmmmmmmm? I need my daily bweast miwlk..." Kokichi pouted, "Solitaire is getting boring, Miu."

"That has nothing to do with me, and she's not even your mom, you fuckin' virgin!"

Kokichi's voice started to waver as he began his sentence, "Let me live out my fantasy of a parental role I never had!" he let the fake tears flow. "Kirumi _*is_ _*_ _*going*_ to be my mom and you can't stop it! You don't know how it feels to-"

"Kokichi, please stop. No one has the time nor energy to indulge in another one of your lies," Keebo said bluntly.

"Was it that obvious?"

"Yes," Everyone, including Himiko, commented.

"Hmph!" Kokichi crossed his arms, "You guys are no fun."

"That's not our problem!" Tenko stroked Himiko's hair, "Now let Himiko rest!"

"Tenko, I think you should lower your voice for Himiko too," Rantaro reasoned.

"It's fine," the smallest of the group said, "I'll never get to peace in this noisy cafeteria."

"Aw, Himiko..." She pulled the red-haired mage into a hug, "It's gonna be alright."

Kokichi noticed the scene that was unraveling before him, "That's really gay, Tenko. It's okay though, we can be gay best friends."

"But you guys...are?" Keebo questioned.

"Don't worry about it, Keebo. It's just Kokichi and the shit he pulls," Miu said as she intertwined their fingers.

"O-Okay..." he blushed at the sudden intimate contact. This girl will be the death of him someday.

There was a peaceful silence before Kokichi caught onto something, and oh boy was he thrilled.

"Hey...where's the rest of us?" Kokichi wondered aloud. "Maybe they're doing something that's not allowed... Hmmm..."

"What are you implying now?" Keebo asked incredulously.

"I dunno, what *am* I implying, Kee-boy?"

"Kokichi... Do you know something that we don't?"

"Nope, not at all, *no* way! Nuh-uh, _never._ "

"That...last part didn't make sense..."

"Goddammit you midget! Do you know anything or what?" Miu demanded.

"Well..." Kokichi tapped his chin, "Let's say...a godly power is flowing through the veins of its followers." He smiled devilishly.

Miu made a displeasured noise, "You're lucky you're my best friend..."

Kokichi gasped, "Miu..." he sniffed and wiped his non-existent tears, "I...I love you, too..."

"Just let him be, once it happens we'll know," Rantaro sat up, "Besides, it's not like he'd tell us anyway, so don't worry about it."

"Mhm! Kokichi agrees!" he nodded his head in agreement.

"But watch out."

"Wh-What do you mean?" Keebo's voice quivered.

"Just watch out," Rantaro's stare got even more ominous. It was like, a warning but extra convincing. Convincing enough to make you scared, even though what he was implying would just give them a suspension at most if they didn't follow his warning.

"Oh, fuck you with your damn cryptic messages!" Miu raised her not-so-nice finger at him.

He chuckled, "I'm just saying, if you don't do as I say you'll be in quite the trouble," he raised his hands in front of him.

"Follow the avocado!" Kokichi declared, "He's helping all of you, with his warning! You'll die if you don't," he put his hand up to cover part of his face and contorted his face in the most ghastly expression he could muster.

"For all the time I have known you, I've never gotten used to your faces," Keebo's voice cracked a bit. I dunno how, but it did :D.

"Nishishi~! Thankss, I try my best!"

_"May the following students please make their way to the Principal's Office: Angie Yonaga, Gonta Gokuhara, Kirumi Tojo, and Korekiyo Shinguji. Please and thank you,"_ the office lady said on the intercom.

"Oooh, did it actually succeed?" Kokichi wondered aloud, once again, for everybody to hear. He's such a tease.

"What happened?" Tenko asked.

"Oh you know...Atua."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I split all 16 of them in two groups
> 
> Group 1 - Shuichi, Kaede, Maki, Kaito, Ryoma, and Tsumugi
> 
> Group 2 - Kokichi, Rantaro, Gonta, Kirumi, Miu, Keebo, Tenko, Himiko, Angie, and Korekiyo
> 
> Why, you may ask? Well because I wanted all the characters to have some role in this and because I think those groups seemed the most compatible...in a way.
> 
> And it'll be funner to write their experiences together :D.
> 
> But in group 1, Tsumugi and Ryoma aren't as close as the main four, but they're close enough uwu
> 
> also sorry for adding in my softie Miu, but if you don't like it then l e a v e
> 
> also yall remember when gonta died? i listened to his voice files and when it got to the part in the 4th class trail when he was saying he wasn't the culprit i just-  
> *tears*
> 
> Oh and if you're curious i made a very vague plan for this fic, so I'm mostly just writing about whatever comes to mind that follows my plan, y'know?
> 
> Like, I usually do one-shots but that's just a guilty pleasure of mine but i mean if yall want it i might-
> 
> They're usually very fluffy or angsty so like
> 
> okay i believe i should make a DR one-shot series-
> 
> oh have a list of my OTPs: saimota, peko/fuyuhiko, saiouma, kaede/shuichi, nagito/hajime, sonia/gundham, makoto/kyoko, hina/sakura, kokichi/gonta, etc.
> 
> also heads up, my updates are most likely gonna be inconsistent, but I'll try to keep it consistent, I'm thinking a chapter every 3-5 days, since that's basically what's been happening, maybe a chapter every week idk 
> 
> heck if my juices be flowing two chapters a week i dUnNo


	4. THEY REALLY BE WILDIN OUT HERE WTF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> atua is naked, kaito and maki get cute, shuichi and kokichi text, angie, gonta, kirumi, and korekiyo in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh uhm, hi
> 
> Also Kokichi's laugh will fluctuate between 'Nishishi' and 'Nee-heehee' because sometimes one feels more right than the other :O.
> 
> bon appetité(?)
> 
> Hi uhm, i didn't want this to get too long so the next chapter might come out a little earlier than usual, 
> 
> as I've said, my juices be flowinG

"So...could you explain to me why there's a naked statue of a man in the courtyard?" The principal asked the three students in front of him.

"It was Atua's divine power flowing through me! I am his vessel, after all!" Angie proclaimed.

"It is my duty to serve others as they please, so I helped Angie. It also seemed...intriguing," Kirumi kept eye contact with him, it was almost unsettling. Almost. It was extremely awkward at best.

"Gonta wanted to help Angie...like true gentleman! Angie always so nice to Gonta, he had to repay Angie somehow. It would be very gentleman-ly to help Angie with her sculpture, so Gonta do that as best as he could!" Gonta rested his hand on his chin, deep in thought, "Was Gonta...a bad boy?"

"No, no, Gokuhara, you did your best..." the principal trailed off. He forgot how innocent and kind Gonta was, it was almost like he cast a guilt spell on him.

"I had an interest in Angie's religion," Korekiyo started, "I have read about Atua before, but only briefly, for I had no particular interest in this god until Angie brought up this idea. I thought that maybe Angie could help me learn about this certain topic and fufill it to my needs. It seemed so very interesting, so I joined in on the effort."

He sighed, "...And a naked statue of this god would've helped you?"

"Yes."

The principal shook his head in disappointment, "Alright, you all are getting detentions just...get out."

"Yes, sir," the four students said in unison as they left. Once they were gone GONE from the principal's office, the principal closed the door.

"I actually need a drink..."

-

Kokichi looked up at the statue in amused awe, "Holy shit, they actually gave him a dick!"

"Kokichi! Language!" Keebo put his hands on his hips.

"Oh, I didn't know you were my mom. And that's Kirumi's job anyway!" the smaller, purple-haired male pouted, but then a devious smirk played across his face. "Hey, Kee-boy...you haven't answered my question yet."

The robot looked at the boy, a puzzled look clearly shown on his face, "Question? What question?"

Kokichi's face brightened innocently, "Do robots have dicks?"

"K-Kokichi! Stop asking such ridiculous questions!" Keebo blushed, covering his face with his hands.

"Yeah...sorry about that, Keebo. I have to admit, it was pretty ri _dick_ ulous..." he looked back up at the statue, with a remorseful look on his face. "Anyway, I lied! It's not ridiculous! This is a pretty serious question that I need to know the answer to this instant!" His face contorted into a somewhat irritated expression, and he stomped his right foot onto the ground. "So, cough it up, Kee-boy!"

"S-Stop it! I can't answer that question!"

Kokichi cackled and left him alone after that. He didn't want to upset Keebo _too_ much. He cared about him, after all. But Kokichi wasn't always like this, he used to be a meek, quiet, shy, and polite individual, and those traits making him an easy target for bullies. All the way up until his third year of middle-school, he was a known target for all of his past terrorizers. He never had a day off from their constant teasing and physical assault, the small boy always came to and from school with at least four bandages plastered around his body and more than just a couple of small, tiny bruises. If it was a bad day, he'd have swollen parts.

And you may wonder, how did he change? The most simple answer is D.I.C.E. After he had met one of the soon-to-be members, they had introduced them to the rest of the gang. At first they were just all silly prankster kiddos, very well-known for pranking many of the residents around the town they called home. Soon, Kokichi decided to step up their game a little. And when I mean a little, I mean crimes. They weren't like federal offenses, but just small, petty crimes. All ten members did it for the same reason; to bring a little spiciness into their lives, and sometimes even joy to other people's lives. It was mostly for the D.I.C.E. members' entertainment, though.

"Nee-heehee! Okay! I promise to never _ever_ ask that question ever again," Kokichi rested his hand on Keebo's shoulder, "But of course, that's a lie."

"As always..." Keebo sighed.

"Mhm!" he nodded as he took a few pictures of the statue in different angles.

"What's that for?" Keebo questioned.

"Oh, it's just for the memories. Once the rest get here we can ask some random person to take a picture with all of us in it. Friendship goals!" the last part was him mocking all those basic tags on Instagram.

"Ah...okay then."

Once Kokichi was done, he pulled up Shuichi's account in his private messages.

_**_panta.forever_** : [1 image attachment]_

_**_panta.forever_** : I have no idea how my friends did this but it's absolutely HILARIOUS._

_**_sigh.ara_** : who...is that?_

* * *

_**_sigh.ara_** : who...is that?_

Shuichi Saihara, the junior detective, couldn't believe his eyes. The picture the other sent was of the purple-haired boy throwing up a peace sign infront of a naked statue of a man. _In a school yard._

_**_panta.forever_** : Atua_

_**_panta.forever_** : Okay, let me explain because I'm sure you have no idea what Im talking about-_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Yeah...I don't_

_**_sigh.ara_** : please explain_

_**_panta.forever_** : Okay okay don't RUSH me, rude._

_**_panta.forever_** : So I have these four as friends: Korekiyo, Kirumi (my "mom"), Angie (the one who made the statue), and Gonta_

_**_panta.forever_** : Angie has a religion in which her god is Atua (the naked guy), and for some reason wanted to put a naked statue in the courtyard, but she needed help_

_**_panta.forever_** : Korekiyo helped because, he's an anthropologist, Gonta is just really sweet, and Kirumi literally does anything she's asked to do and never fails,,,,,, that's why she my mommy :)_

_**_panta.forever_** : anyway, Angie made the statue and they helped with things like carrying it to school_

_**_panta.forever_** : I have no idea how they did that just don't ask_

_**_panta.forever_** : they all got detentions, which isn't surprising, gonta was there_

_**_sigh.ara_** : What does Gonta have to do with them getting detentions?_

_**_panta.forever_** : because if he wasn't there, they'd probably be suspended, honestly_

_**_panta.forever_** : He's a sweetheart and can accidentally guilt trip people so :)._

_**_sigh.ara_** : How can you accidentally guilt trip somebody??_

_**_panta.forever_** : be gonta._

_**_sigh.ara_** : Oh, I have to go, I have to train with Kaito_

_**_sigh.ara_** : oh Kaito is a friend of mine but really, I got to go, bye_

_Read 3:27 PM_

Shuichi put down his phone, kind of bummed he was left on read, but it made sense. Kokichi probably didn't wanna respond since he had to go, so it didn't bother him *that* much. Shuichi never knew why he hated being left on read so much, he just did. He grabbed his water bottle, keys, phone, and duffel bag and walked to Kaito's place. It wasn't that far from him and his uncle's house, only 10 minutes away if you walked. And walking is healthy so Shuichi decided to do that.

Once he reached the outside of his friend's house he saw Kaito waving.

"Hey, Shuichi! Are you ready to train?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Shuichi called back and entered the gate.

"So we're all here," Maki said as she walked out of Kaito's front door.

"Maki?" Shuichi questioned, "Aren't you supposed to be-"

"No, I'm not. Some kid protested," she responded. Shuichi nodded his head, understanding the gist of what she was saying.

Kaito clapped his hands, "Alright! Since we're all here, let's get to training! I say 100 push-ups, and once we're done, we shall start weight lifting!" the tallest of the three went down on the ground and started his work-out. The other two followed suit and Maki, as usual, finishing first.

-

"96...97," Shuichi stopped for a few seconds, "98, 99..."

"..."

"..."

"One..hundred," he then collapsed onto the grass beneath him, wheezing and panting like his airways just got freed from the grasp of somebody choking him. He would've been coughing too, but he wasn't being choked. So he wasn't coughing.

"It took you long enough," Maki joked, "But you've improved. I'm proud."

Shuichi nodded, "Haah...thanks, Maki..." he inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"I think we should take a break for now," Kaito stood up, "Imma go grab some water, do you want any, Maki?"

"Sure. Do you have any flavor packets?" she combed her fingers through her hair.

"Uhm...maybe. If I do I'll grab one you'd like. I'm off!" Kaito shuffled to his house.

Soon after that encounter, Kaito came back with two water bottles and two flavor packets. The one for Maki was pink lemonade (her favorite), and Kaito's was fruit punch (his favorite),

"Here you go." he bent down to Maki's level and gave her the stuff she wanted.

"Thanks, Kaito."

"It's no problem, Maki-roll! Anything for a hero's comrades!" the male plopped down onto the grass and started pouring the powder into the liquid, he then sealed the top back and started shaking it furiously.

"You okay, Kaito?" Shuichi chuckled, teasing him for doing it so aggressively.

"I'm totally fine. What's got you asking?"

"Oh...it's nothing important," he smiled and sat up, feeling a bit stronger after resting for a bit. He drank a bit from his water bottle and grabbed his phone. _'4:57. Hm, I've got one and a half-ish hours left. I guess I got to make the most of it.'_

The teen scrolled through his various medias. Most, if not all were just for ranting, you'd think nobody would have anything more to talk/rant/argue about when they have several accounts, but boy were they wrong. He looked through the comments, and the comments were the most interesting parts of each and every posts. Shuichi got to see various opinions from hundreds of other people, and they were mostly interesting. The comments were basically 50% commentary (both negative and positive), 15% agreements, 10% disagreements, and 25% memes/jokes. He loved scrolling through them because each time he did, he learned something new or saw the same topic from another view point. To the dark-haired boy, it was very entertaining and fun, Those hate comments never beat the greatness of those things.

"What're you doing?"

Shuichi flinched, "K-Kaito! Don't scare me like that... I'm just looking through the comments on one of my posts."

"Oooh, can I see?" Kaito moved closer to the phone screen, already reading some.

"I mean..you're already doing it so sure. Not like I was gonna say no anyways..."

The aspiring astronaut-to-be said nothing as he read the words on the screen, clearly engrossed in this one paragraph. Maki, still sitting on the far left just stared ~~mostly at Kaito but I'm not gonna say anything~~ at the two, like a loving mother. Of course, she felt a bit jealous she wasn't a part of that, but she knew all too well she'd never get that close with them physically, but that didn't stop her feelings. Anyhow, she found the tallest of the three, kind of adorable. She had never seen him that concentrated on something, he'd usually be smiling a bit or playing with something, but he was completely still. Kaito never was fully concentrated on one thing. His head was always somewhere else, 'With the stars!' he'd say. But a small part of her wanted that kind of attention from him on her, all of his attention focused on her. A dream come true, really.

_'Oh god...I can't be falling for this idiot'_ she mentally cursed herself and looked away from the two. After a few seconds she had composed herself.

"What's so interesting?" she called as she walked over.

"Ah, just reading the comments," Shuichi said. "They're pretty interesting and funny."

"Mmm," she hummed and bent down to his level, "...heh."

After a few minutes, Kaito stood up. "So...are you guys ready for weight-lifting?"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI UHM DO YOU LIKE IT??? IT'S CURRENTLY 2:19 AM AND I POSTED CHAPTER 3 A FEW MINUTES AGO BUT I GOT THIS RANDOM WAVE OF INSPIRATION WTF.


	5. oh mai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi is tryna bust this case but then a mischievous boi distracts him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI IT'S CURRENTLY 2:43 PM ON A MONDAY (july 22, 2019) AND LIKE WOOHOO I FEEL ENERGIZED AND ACTUALLY NOT SAD OR ANYTHING

“Okay, everyone! Get over here to your leader's command!” Kokichi ordered, nyooming onto a pedestal. Once he was there he saw the rest of D.I.C.E. coming, like the loyal followers they are. All of them are basically family, finding extreme comfort in each other, comfort they could never get from their actual families, even friends outside of D.I.C.E.

Once their attention was on Kokichi, he spoke, “Now, we have everyone here, don't we? Of course we do, I see all of my most favorite people in the world! And that's no lie.”

The girl in pigtails spoke up, “Aw, brother...don't do that..! I love you too but it's just too much love!”

He smiled, a genuine one. One that only D.I.C.E. members could see more than anyone in his life. “There's no such thing as too much love! Anyway, I have scoped out a new place that we could raid! Since it's near Halloween, I decided we should do a candy store. The one around the corner, obviously. Just talking about it makes my mouth water…!”

“Yeah, it's pretty delicious. The lady that runs it really gets the good stuff!” the bald-headed male said.

“Mhm!” Kokichi nodded his head, “Anyways, my dear followers, as your leader, I say that you guys can choose when to do our business there. This is a special treat for you guys since I usually do that, and you guys can choose the day and the time.”

Multiple cheers radiated from the small group of members and a single “Thanks, boss!” from them. Kokichi hid a smile and stepped down, heading to them.

“So, what do you guys wanna do?” Kokichi said as he sat down in a chair, twirling his hair.

* * *

Shuichi sighed, burying his face with his hands. Another case of theft, but a candy shop? The teen sighed, there have been numerous cases of vandalism and theft relating to this one, but they were all scattered around town. Did the person (or people) behind these occurrences have a set goal? What were they trying to accomplish? He and his uncle's office could not figure out anything that could lead them closer to the culprit, and it didn't help that they had previously vandalized a local supermarket. It seemed as if they just did it for their entertainment, but their patterns were too random. One moment it's like their trying to do something and then the next they're just doing it just because. Shuichi looked closer at the file and the piece of evidence that was left behind:

 _Oh my, so sweet! Yeah, we stole from here._  
  
_Next, we're gonna disappear!_  
  
_I can't think of anything else, and I don't really rhyme ._  
  
_That should be enough._  
  
_\- D.I.C.E._  
  
He furrowed his eyebrows, they really sucked at leaving hints. _'Next we're gonna disappear!'?_ What does that mean?'   
  
Are they going on a hiatus? No, that seems too obvious. And the last two lines...don't even make sense. It's honestly like an amateur did it. Maybe an amateur did do it, I mean, in previous cases the only pieces of evidence they left behind was eye witness accounts, and all they said was that they saw a short-statured person with messy, dark hair. They couldn't identify the likely gender of the person, which was a bummer. But at least he has some type of clue.

After a while of trying to find out more about this (spoilers: he didn't figure out much), he got a text from Kokichi.

  
_3 new messages from **_panta.forever_** _  
  
****

**__panta.forever__ ** _: o-omigod_ _  
_

_  
_ **__panta.forever__ ** _: did you see the news?? im honestly laughing because, a candy shop? The culprit, or culprits are/is probably under the age of 16 honestly_

 _  
_ **__panta.forever__ ** _: they must be a very gifted kid, or group of kids, but what does D.I.C.E. mean,,, hmm_

  
**__sigh.ara__ ** _: Ah yeah,_  
  
**__sigh.ara__ ** _: Actually, that's the case I'm working on right now_

  
**__panta.forever__ ** _: ooooo mr. detective is on the case! Will he solve it? Or will he ultimately fail and never find the culprit? Catch ya later on 'Detective Stuff' , always airing on Monday nights! 8pm/10pm c!_

  
_**_sigh.ara_** : Oh,_   
  
Shuichi was wordless, how could the other male be so calm? Well, Kokichi wasn't a detective trying to solve this case, he could give him that, but the other male’s playfulness made him kind of uncomfortable. Maybe it was just a silly facade? Maybe his playfulness was just a way to cope? I mean, the culprit(s) didn’t do anything to people’s homes and belongings themselves, it was just stores and shops, so he most likely thought that it could never possibly happen to him. Little did he know the boy he was associating himself with was part of the brains and the actions of the crimes that had been committed.

_**_panta.forever_** : So, what'dya uncover? Or cover since you basically work for the government,,,,,,_

_**_sigh.ara_** : I'm just going to ignore that last comment._

_**_sigh.ara_** : ...anyway, all we have is this clue, I'm pretty sure it connects to what they're going to do next_

_**_sigh.ara_** : I can't really tell you about it since my uncle would kill me, I'd also be in big trouble...it has to be classified unless it's on the news or something_

* * *

_**_sigh.ara_** : I can't really tell you about it since my uncle would kill me, I'd also be in big trouble...it has to be classified unless it's on the news or something_

Kokichi smirked, feeling above the other boy in a way. He knew everything that he didn't know about all the shenanigans he and D.I.C.E. had came up with and acted out on, it was fun seeing this first-hand. Call him mischievous, because he his, but don't tell him that or he'll be extremely offended; he'll refute by saying that he is the Supreme Leader of Evil, and that he is very evil, not mischievous. Anyway, we're getting off topic. He liked seeing somebody struggle to figure out his group's antics, it made him feel successful as a leader, and really smart too. Kokichi decided to play along, even though no one was playing except him. he had to act like he knew nothing of their plans, which was fairly easy anyway. It wasn't like he had a choice, he had to play the role of the clueless, average, male civilian, unless he wanted to expose himself and his organization. Which he didn't. So he responded with:

_**_panta.forever_** : aw man. now im really curious, just kidding! I don't care about some silly criminal person or people_

**__panta.forever__ ** _: n e e - h e e h e e ~_

 **__sigh.ara__ ** _: ...okay_

_**_panta.forever_** : So...how does being a detective work, i mean I know you look for clues and stuff, and analyze stuff but give me a first-hand account of the experience, Mr. Detective_

**__sigh.ara__ ** _:...apprentice detective_

 **__sigh.ara__ ** _: Anyway, given my stance in the detective hierarchy, I'm just given the cases and the already collected evidence and just help crack the case_

 **__sigh.ara__ ** _: I don't really do a lot of the major things right now, I'm still in the middle of my apprenticeship after all_

 **__panta.forever__ ** _: D O Y O U D O A L O T O F M U R D E R C A S E S ?_

 **__sigh.ara__ ** _: Ah no, not really, i usually do missing pet cases, or cases like D.I.C.E._

_**_panta.forever_** : Oh, well, do you solve them most of the time?_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Well, pretty much, yeah_

_**_panta.forever_** : that's pretty awesome, honestly_

_**_panta.forever_** : I'M ROOTING FOR YOU DETECTIVE-!!!¡!!!¡¡¡!¡¡!_

_**_panta.forever_** : :D_

__sigh.ara_: Oh, um, thank you_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : ya like my new name?_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : It popped into my head I loved it_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Yes, I love the creativity!_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Also, are you not straight? Don't worry, I'm not homophobic or anything, I'm bisexual myself, actually_

Not straight and good-looking, Kokichi smirked. Maybe he had a chance with the detective. Not like he liked him that way anyway, he barely knew the guy. But it was nice to know he had a chance with the boy, _if_ his heart ever decided to love him.

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : Yep! Gayer than the gayest of gays!_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : And ooo a fellow queer,,,,how exciting!_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : Let's be queer besties._

_**_sigh.ara_** : oh um, sure?_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : You have no choice Shuichi! You're stuck with me until the end of time :D_

_**_sigh.ara_** : ...i guess that's not so bad_

_**_sigh.ara_** : I'm sure you're a great person, very childish, but great_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : Moi??!?!?!?! Childish?? Nuh-uh, no way José! I am the most adulting person to ever adult!_

_**__sigh.ara_** : ...but you're acting like you're not an adult?_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : aw you got me!_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : yep 16 and fetus-sized and ultimately immature :D_

_**_sigh.ara_** : oh really? I'm 16 too, that's a coincidence_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : this reminds me of a fanfiction, honestly_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : Coincidentally being the same age is like, totally a trope, right?_

_**_sigh.ara_** : I don't really know about any fanfiction tropes, but it definitely seems like one_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : Even a non-fanfic reader person sees it! :O._

_**_sigh.ara_** : eheh, yeah_

_**_sigh.ara_** : do you read fanfiction? _

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : Oh yeah, but i don't write it_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : I suck at it, but I can't deny it has crossed this Supreme Leader's mind_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : oop i gotta go, i need to eat dInNeR_

_**_sigh.ara_** : I'll talk to you later_

_**_sigh.ara_** : Bye_

_**_.purple_gay_overlord._** : bai_

_Read 8:30 PM_

Kokichi set down his phone, he was in a good mood. He never would've thought they'd be talking still after about a week, but they were, and he did not regret it. The thought of the other boy enjoying his company made hime feel wholesome, in a way.

_'I NEED to stock up some more wholesome memes...'_

The boy got up from his bed and skipped his little body to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so, i kind of took a break on the 23rd and 24th and i completely forgot about the idea I had so I just winged it :|.
> 
> i hope you liked the full chapter 5-


	6. TOSS YOUR DIRTY SHOES IN MY WASHING MACHINE HEART BABY BANG IT UP INSIDE, I'M NOT WEARING MY USUAL LIPSTICK, I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD KISS TONIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, uhm, trigger warning: vague mentions of suicide/death

Shuichi woke up in a somewhat calm state, which was unusual considering the night he had previously. Normally, after not being able to make a breakthrough in a case, he'd either be in a very depressed state or just really anxious. Whenever he woke up feeling anxious, he could never pinpoint what exactly made him feel that way at first. He would be all caught up in that feeling that he forgets about the original problem and worry about other things that were important or just made him anxious in general. But this time he felt…peaceful. _'Weird.'_

Shuichi got up from out of his bed and headed to the bathroom, still a little loopy, as he had basically just woken up. He headed towards the bathroom and did his daily hygiene. Once he was done he exited and checked his phone. _6:15 AM._ A little early for him to finish bathing and all those other necessities, but it was whatever. He would most likely have a bit more time before he exited the house if he didn't stall on anything. Shuichi clothed himself, rocking a grey shirt with white text saying _'I'm done with your bullcrap i actually need coffee.'_ and the classic black hoodie. He wore black trousers for bottoms and grey sneakers to match. Shuichi's color range for clothing was very monotonous, he didn't own any colored clothes - if you're not counting a red tie he has tucked away somewhere. He never really liked wearing colored clothes. Sure, it looked great on other people, but it just wasn't his cup of tea. He'd rather stay how he is.

After about forty minutes of free time, it was already time to leave. He grabbed his bookbag and exited the house quietly, murmuring a goodbye and an 'I love you' to his uncle, to which he responded back with the same thing. Once he was outside, he took a deep breath, savoring his last moments of freedom before he had to go to hell, in which he liked to call it 'real life'. But many people say hell, so it was the easiest to go by. In conclusion, high school sucked balls. 

Shuichi trotted down the sidewalk, listening to his music, which mostly consisted of songs people would consider edgy if they heard it. Eventually, he made it to the bus stop, it was usually him and this other dude named Hajime, and it was the same today. He found it weird that only two people out of this whole area went on this single bus, but that's life.

"Shuichi," Hajime greeted, keeping a calm composure.

"Ah, Hajime. How are you?" Shuichi took out one of his earbuds, to be polite. He could hear Hajime just fine with both of them in, but Shuichi was a polite one, so he took them out.

"I'm fine, Komaeda asked me out so that was great," he smiled fondly. Usually he'd be more upbeat about it, but it's 7:23 in the morning and not a lot of people are "OWO UWU I'M ENERGIZED" at this hour.

"Oh? Did you say yes? I know you've liked him for a while."

"Yeah, I did. He did it in the calmest manner too. He just walked up to me and said something along the lines of: 'Ah, Hajime! I was looking for you!' And then he asked if we could go to the movies, as a romantic date. It was pretty nice, actually. His demeanor helped me calm down a bit."

He nodded, "I'm glad it went well. I wish you two the best of luck, and if anything happens, I'm a call away."

"Thanks, Shuichi. I appreciate it."

The dark-haired male blushed, "Ah, um, it's no problem. It's what friends are for."

The two boys talked until the bus came, Shuichi and Hajime were never really that close, so they parted ways to other friends on the bus. Hajime would go over to Nagito and Chiaki while Shuichi sat with Kaede. Shuichi's stop was two stops before Kaede's sp he had to wait a bit.

He stared out the window, thinking last night over. How could he not figure out that case? Will his Uncle be disappointed in him? Shuichi Saihara was supposed to be the young detective prodigy next to Kyoko Kirigiri. He should be near her level, heck, maybe even _on_ her level. Kyoko could've figured out that case in no time, why couldn't he be like her? Was he not trying hard enough? Was he just a dunce compared to her? Kirigiri was everything he wanted to be and more, was it just never going to happen? Was she just too smart? Could it be that she has a very high IQ that someone like Shuichi could never reach? Will he ever be good enough? Is he just always going to be second-best? Will he never become the detective he wants to be? Shuichi frowned, he knew these questions will only dig him deeper in the already depressed state he is in now, but he can't stop. He really needs Kaede. She's like, his ray of sunshine. Kaede Akamatsu always knew how to make him feel better, she gave him the confidence he needed. Shuichi hoped that maybe just one day he wouldn't need Kaede to give him confidence. Maybe he could be strong like her, and be great like Kyoko.

He smiled fondly at the thought, even though he thinks it'd never happen. He's not strong enough. As he says.

"Shuichi, you're thinking again."

He snapped back into reality, blinking a few times before looking over to the voice. It was Kaede.

"Ah, uhm, sorry, Kaede…" he mumbled, pulling his hat down even further. He scooted over so she could have some space beside him. "How are you today?"

"Good," she nodded, looking out the window. "But this isn't about me, it's about you. What's on your mind?"

"It's nothing really," Shuichi averted his gaze in shame, he just lied to his best friend! He couldn't feel _not_ guilty, you know.

Kaede pouted and pinched his cheek, "You're lying."

"Ah, Kaede! That hurt…" Shuichi rubbed his cheek where she pinched it. It was throbbing. Kaede had a mean pinch game, I'll tell you that!

"Then don't lie to me. C'mon, what's wrong? It'll make you feel better if you talk about it," she rested her hand on his hand.

Shuichi bit his lip, contemplating on whether or not he should tell her. If he didn't, she'd nag and be worried for the rest of the day (and when she was like that, nobody will have a good day that day), if he did then she'd help him. But then again, it was the same problem, him not being confident enough in his detective skills and being depressed because he couldn't solve a case. The last one didn't happen a lot, but when it did it took a mental toll on him.

"I couldn't solve a case… That's all."

Kaede narrowed her gaze, "That's not all. Tell me," she whimpered a little.

Monotonously, he explained. "I didn't make a breakthrough on a case. The one about D.I.C.E., I told you about that, right?"

Kaede nodded, so he continued, "So I got a little upset over it. I wish I felt as peaceful as I did when I woke up."

She sensed the hint of tiredness and wanting and sadness in his voice, she decided not to push for more information. He basically told her what was up, it doesn't matter if it was sugar-coated. "Aw, I'm sorry, Shuichi. Hey, if it'll make you feel better, I have chocolate croissants?"

He smiled, _"Pain au chocolat."_

Kaede rolled her eyes, "Whatever. I'll play piano for you during lunch? Oh, you should listen to Claire de Lune, I'm sure it'll help you feel better."

She pulled up her phone, pulling up the music. Meanwhile, Shuichi was smiling softly to himself, he didn't know where he would be if he didn't have Kaede there to cheer him up. To be frank, he'd probably be dead by now. While he was still in his thoughts, Kaede unplugged Shuichi's headphones and put her phone in them. 

"Okay let me start it!" she grinned gleefully as she hit the play button. She then grabbed one of the earbuds and put it in her ear.

He let the music throw him in a peaceful trance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a little short, a bunch of personal things have been happening plus writer's block, which is great
> 
> I'll be doing some minor editing here and there and I'll try to make a consistent schedule
> 
> I'll also basically delete the fifth chapter, since chapter 6 is the seventh chapter but it's the sixth and the sixth chapter is the full fifth chaper. I don't know if that made sense lol
> 
> ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ENJOYED


	7. OKAY WE'RE BACK AT IT AGAIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol sorry for being dead for so long
> 
> school, social life, my laziness, and me being me in general just made this one of my non-priorities so dON'T SUE ME—
> 
> anyway here's the 7th chapter, i love the support and it feels nice cause I've never felt so sjjshskksosks
> 
> ya know? ya know.

It had been two months since Shuichi and Kokichi had started talking over the internet, and their friendship had grown exponentially. 

Shuichi had learned to see through his lies, in which Oma claimed that nobody had ever done so that fast. Only his parents, D.I.C.E., and Rantaro. Kokichi greatly appreciated him (which was usually shown by insulting his dear friend, and then saying it was a lie) and wouldn't trade Shuichi for anything or anybody in the world. He could say the same, too. Shuichi had appreciated Kokichi because his obsessive lying actually helped with his detective skills. Shuichi could lie more convincingly and detect lies faster, but only Kokichi could see through them. Shuichi was a truther, and Kokichi was a liar, that created an interesting relationship for them.

Their friendship was the literal embodiment of a game of cat-and-mouse. Shuichi was the cat, trying to capture Kokichi and expose him, while Kokichi (also known as the mouse) tried to metaphorically "run" from Shuichi. Which meant making his lies more complex and harder to see through, and playing a few games with him. Games in which basically used up all of their brain power because they had to think psychologically about everything. Kokichi would always purposely lose, maybe winning a bit here and there (that was on purpose too) just to teach Shuichi a lesson in life. You'd think somebody like Kokichi would give out bad life advice, bUt yOu wErE wRoNg.

It was blossoming beautifully, really. They had something special going on.

"That was a lie, y'know, since I'm a liar," Kokichi's voice echoed in the bathroom, it was empty. Shuichi had just moved into a new house (Uncle business) so yeah.

"I'm going to put my phone on speaker phone, so don't do anything I will regret. Okay, Kokichi?" Shuichi said into the phone, realizing the mistake he had just made. He could hear snickering on the other end.

"Yeah, yeah. You can trust me, Mr. Detective! I would never,  _ ever _ ,  _ everrrrrrrrr _ disobey you like that. You can always count on me!"

That tone made the taller of the two sigh, he knew Kokichi was smirking on the other end, ready to do something unwanted, unnecessary, and uncalled for. Shuichi mumbled  _ 'I've made a grave mistake'  _ or something like that as he put his phone down, and did as he said earlier.

"Kokichi?" he called, searching through the medicine cabinet for his face stuff for cleansing.

"Yes, my  _ beloved _ Saihara-chan?"

"I will hang up on you. Do not do that ever again."

The other boy whined, "But you have to agree I did it perfectlyyyyyyyy~! If I had a crazy hot, crazy-hot boyfriend, he would buckle under his knees. No doubt!"

"Yeah… That is, if you'll ever get one," Shuichi teased, he held back a snicker as he applied a face mask on his face.

He could hear a loud, exaggerated gasp. "sHuIcHI?????!?!?!?!?!?! SHUICHI SAIHARA-SAMA-"

"Please don't use that honorific when referring to me ever again."

Kokichi continued with his over-exaggerated rant, "SHUICHI. SAIHARA. AGE 15. HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT I, KOKICHI OMA, THE ULTIMATE SUPREME LEADER, WILL NEVER GET A CRAZY HOT, CRAZY-HOY BOYFRIEND?! DO YOU KNOW THE TYPE OF PUNISHMENT YOU WILL RECEIVE IF YOU CONTINUE ON THIS PATH?”

“no," he replied honestly while he was finishing applying the mask he was applying (does that make sense lmao).

“Death.”

“Nice.”


	8. OH NO!!!

I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THE CHAPTER SORRY SHSJSJ

I'll keep it cause I've been inactive for so long.

if it's bad I'm sorry lmao


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